Whhhoooooo. !!

This week has been crazzzyyyy and I can't believe it flew by so quickly! Which essentially means I only have 5 weeks left to the end of my first year of college. Do you know how completely and utterly insane that is?? Whhoooo. When I went home las wknd to see the play, I couldnt believe it. I mean...look at all that happens in one measly year. And when Jude was like, can you believe its been a year? I almost flipped. I remember him n Shaz through that whole together-but not quite- process. And now, a year. Nuts. And I saw Mr. Doldi n he was like, (in his usual Doldi voice of course) "Chreeeesta, can u beleeeve it? One year ago, you were on that stage.A lot has hop-pened." And I was like, "tell me about it Mr. Doldi!" haha. Of course I had been thinkin the same thing for  a while. I mean, a year from then, lets just try to think of a few things that hpnd....

My last BHS theater performance - Little Shop!! word...and with that, my last cast party. NHS induction. agony over college. The last of all hs club involvement. APs. Last band trip- VA beach! nd jumping pictures. Doc retires, end of bhs choir as we know it. scholarships and dinners up the wazoo. and of course, PROM!!!! closely followed by mdw. Senior weeks and times...then graduation! graduation is craziness. straight up. its sooo weird. the mad grad parties. then my sis took me on a road trip. came back for orientation, where i first met a lot of my friends. then my own grad party. my sister from Illinois and my niece come to visit. then i don't know what happened, but time (and my memory) lead straight to GREECE! unforgettable, obviously.  then chill time and prep time, cuz it was off to college for me! met my college friends- the ones they say you'll be friends with forever. or at least a long time after college, lol. Then Jamie went away to Greece for a year. CRU happened to me. then tons of holidays...thxgivin, christmas!, new years,...my first month-long break. which is pretty sweet i might add, but it still felt really short. Then  school and fun times, then Oasis Winter Advance '07.leader status!!  then Spring Break. Which by this point is a total of 3 reunions at my house. yea, baby. it's crazy though...that concept of having reunions right now. Anyway...now its exam time, and i hate it. i always hated school work. but anyway, after that is end of year time. soooo weird! i wish i could just stay at college and not have work. that would be tight. And I don't want the CRU seniors to graduate. I've only had a year with them, and that is NOT long enough. and yea, once summer comes, i won't get to see my college bffs everyday. hmmph. but then i go to wasington for 2 months, so its all good. but i seriously can't believe it. sooo fast.

anything else you can think of?

But I'm excited for the end of this year. And I can't wait for next year!!!! It's gunna be so much fun..I'll be in an apartment with some of the coolest ppl here. I can't wait!

hmmm... where to begin..so as this month comes to a close its basically a ton of mixed emotions.

i had the most amazing weekend of my  life. It seems that I say that every time i come back from a Winter Advance '07. I just love Oasis so much is hard to go away..but obviously it's just as hard to not progress with my life. This was my first experience being on the other side as a youth leader..and it was amazing. Sooo much fun and a lot of people are really maturing, and I love the sight of that. It almost brings a tear. And its always a crazy fun time to let loose. It's definitely the wknd I look forward to the most in the year. Learned a lot of good stuff about a lot of diff things.

And then I get back to my dorm to find out that I scored the internship in Washington that I wanted so badly!!! I was so incredibly happy I can't even describe. Granted, this means that I'm gonna miss out on two months of my summer and greatness with my friends, Creation, and thats also means I won't be home when Jimbo gets there. So out of a lot of good comes  a lot of ehhhhh. But then again my sister is moving to DC next month so it will be a hott time. But I love the summer!! Why can't I miss out on school to do this? ughh. I reaaalllly shouldnt be complaining right now, cuz this is the greatest opportunity ever. anyway, moving on.. i dunno. its gunna be hott.

Now comes the depressing part: I can't stop thinking about the past. Now, I'm not one to dwell on the past and live in it..but ionno...there just comes those times that you look back and just wonder what ur life would be like if u had followed a different path. Or if your friends had all stayed together in the same spot and lived that idealistic life that consisted of only the amazing happy memories. More specifically, I wonder what it would be like if I stayed in #8 school. What if I never went to AT and kept those childhood friendships that I loved so much? i mean i kept most of them in a minimalistic sense...but what if they were 20 times stronger than they are now....if i could have those times jus chillen on the block again...and I wonder what it would be like if the times of #7 school continued...if me, viv, leah, tina, alex, and verna could have stayed together ..no one moved away..we all stayed mad tight throughout college..if we could just be ridic and dance around to nsync one more time...

...if only.

and what if i didnt try so hard to do evverryyything, but just chilled and had more chill times? and maybe i wouldnt be in as good a place as i am now..and maybe i wouldnt know as much as i do..and of course my life experiences would have been different. but i would have had those memories. and i wouldnt be sitting here just wondering. but then again, i wouldnt know all of the marvelous people that i do now.  so its a give and take i guess. in general, my life's amazing. so this really isnt me complaining. just one of those times. i just really  want to know.